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S-H-M-I-L-Y


My grandparents were married for over half a century, and played their own special game from the time they had met each other. The goal of their game was to write the word "shmily" in a surprise place for the other to find.


 


They took turns leaving "shmily" around the house, and as soon as one of them discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once more. They dragged "shmily" with their fingers through the sugar and flour containers to await whoever was preparing the next meal.


 


They smeared it in the dew on the windows overlooking the patio where my grandma always fed us warm, homemade pudding with blue food coloring. "Shmily" was written in the steam left on the mirror after a hot shower, where it would reappear bath after bath.


 


At one point, my grandmother even unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper to leave "shmily" on the very last sheet. There was no end to the places "shmily" would pop up. Little notes with "shmily" scribbled hurriedly were found on dashboards and car seats, or taped to steering wheels. The notes were stuffed inside shoes and left under pillows. "Shmily" was written in the dust upon the mantel and traced in the ashes of the fireplace.


 



 


This mysterious word was as much a part of my grandparents' house as the furniture. It took me a long time before I was able to fully appreciate my grandparents' game. Skepticism has kept me from believing in true love----one that is pure and enduring However, I never doubted my grandparents' relationship. They had love down pat. It was more than their flirtatious little games; it was a way of life. Their relationship was based on a devotion and passionate affection which not everyone is lucky enough to experience.


 


Grandma and Grandpa held hands every chance they could. They stole kisses as they bumped into each other in their tiny kitchen. They finished each other's sentences and shared the daily crossword puzzle and word jumble. My grandma whispered to me about how cute my grandpa was, how handsome and old he had grown to be. She claimed that she really knew "how to pick 'em." Before every meal they bowed their heads and gave thanks, marveling at their blessings: a wonderful family, good fortune, and each other. But there was a dark cloud in my grandparents' life: my grandmother had breast cancer. The disease had first appeared ten years earlier.


 


As always, Grandpa was with her every step of the way. He comforted her in their yellow room, painted that way so that she could always be surrounded by sunshine, even when she was too sick to go outside. Now the cancer was again attacking her body. With the help of a cane and my grandfather's steady hand, they went to church every morning. But my grandmother grew steadily weaker until, finally, she could not leave the house anymore. For a while, Grandpa went to church alone, praying for God to watch over his wife.


 


Then one day, what we all dreaded finally happened. Grandma was gone. "SHMILY" There it was again---scrawled in bright yellow ink on the pink ribbons of my grandmother's funeral bouquet. As the crowd thinned and the last mourners turned to leave, my aunts, uncles, cousins and other family embers came forward and gathered around Grandma one last time.


 


Grandpa stepped up to my grandmother's casket and, taking a shaky breath, he began to sing to her very softly. Through his tears and grief, the old song came, a deep throaty lullaby. Shaking with my own sorrow, I will never forget that moment. For I knew that, although I couldn't begin to fathom the depth of their love, I had been privileged to witness its unmatched beauty.


........S-H-M-I-L-Y........


See How Much I Love You.


~ Author ~~Laura Jeanne Allen~


from chicken soup for the couples soul


 



 


情深意重 S-H-M-I-L-Y


我的祖父母結婚已有半世紀之久,他們常玩一個專屬於他倆之間的特別遊戲,而獎品往往只是一張藏在屋裡某個角落,上面寫著“S-H-M-I-L-Y”的字條。


 


不管他們把字條藏在屋裡的哪個角落,另一半總能很快的發現它,此時就換找到的人去藏字條。甚至有時就用手指把S-H-M-I-L-Y直接寫在糖霜或麵粉堆上,以便給準備作飯的另一半一眼就可看見。


 


他們常透過天井凝視窗戶上的露珠,天井下也是祖母用自製點綴藍色糖衣的布丁,滿足、溫暖我們口慾的地方;有時他們也會在起霧的鏡面上寫下S-H-M-I-L-Y”,好等老伴待會沖澡時,在氤氳水氣裡慢慢浮現。


 


有一回,祖母把它寫在廁所整卷紙靠軸心的地方,以便祖父使用到底時,自動顯現在眼前。而一個註記“S-H-M-I-L-Y”的便利貼,也常會出其不意的被發現在門口地毯下、車內椅子上或就貼在方向盤上。而有些則藏在鞋內、枕頭下,當然更有直接寫在壁爐邊佈滿塵埃的框架上。


 


在祖父母家的傢俱上,也常可發現到這神秘字謎的蹤跡。有很長一段時間,我很感激祖父母的這個遊戲,因它讓我由一個對真愛存在與否的懷疑者,轉而相信它是以既純真又耐心的面貌存在著。不管如何,我從不曾懷疑過祖父母間的情感,因他們相互深愛對方,而這遊戲只能算是他們間隱約調情的小舉止。說來也可算是生活的一種方式,讓他們的關係建立在既熱情又激情的基礎上,而這可不是每個人都能輕易去體會得到的。


 


一有機會,祖父母總是手牽著手,而當他們在小廚房擦身而過時,也常適時的偷吻一下對方,他們常互相幫忙解字謎及造句,也分享每日的字陣拼圖。祖母常細聲對我訴說:祖父有多可愛又英俊,還有他成長過程的點點滴滴。然後突出聲說她找到“em”的字了。餐前他們都會低頭禱告,感謝所擁有令人驚訝的福份、一個完好的家,還有擁有彼此的幸福。一切看似美好,但是天有不測風雲,祖母罹患了乳癌,且是早在十年前,症狀就已逐漸顯現。


 


通常祖父都會伴隨在她身邊,即使因病症使她無法步出戶外,在他們的黃屋裡-是一間只因要讓她感受像是被溫暖的陽光所包圍,而改漆成黃色的房間-輕輕安撫她。如今癌細胞再次侵襲她的身體,即使拄著拐杖挽著祖父堅定的臂膀,他們仍堅持每天早上到教堂去禮拜。但是祖母的身子,一天比一天更加的虛弱,最後,她終於再也無力離開那房間。那陣子,祖父依然一個人上教堂,祈求 神眷顧他的妻子。


 



 


大家一直都擔憂的那一天,終於來臨“祖母走了”,在葬禮上有一束鮮花繫上一條粉紅色絲絹,上面用亮黃色的字跡、潦草的書寫著“S-H-M-I-L-Y”。悼念與慰問的人漸漸離去時,我的叔伯姑姨和其他親朋好友們,都走向前來圍在祖母的身邊,凝視她最後一眼。


 


祖父凝視著祖母,在他含淚、哀傷短促的呼吸聲中,輕聲的對她哼唱著一首古老的搖籃曲,深沉哀痛的歌聲觸動我心深處。此刻,我自知再也無法理解、衡量在他們之間的愛究有多深厚了。但我卻已為這無人可敵的淒美愛情,作了偉大的見證。


 


S-H-M-I-L-Y


-----


 


作者:蘿菈.珍妮.艾倫


摘錄自“心靈雞湯”


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